Two Ways to Despise the Cross
One man thinks his sins are so heavy, so deep, so black, so persistent, so terrible, so shameful, that surely he has exhausted God's patience. Others may be forgiven and know God's mercy, but not he.
But to think that is to despise the cross, thinking that the death of God the Son is a little thing, too small for my great sins.
The other man thinks his sins are not really that bad, and probably offset by his good deeds and qualities. He admits he as a little temper, but he governs it pretty well and has certainly never killed anyone; he has a little lust, but he does not indulge it; he is not always completely honest, but he does not tell the kind of lies that really hurt anyone. While at the same time he is charitable, generous, involved in service, kind, and helpful.
And of course to think that is also to despise the cross, thinking that the death of God the Son is barely necessary; too great a thing for my small sins.
God have mercy on me, a sinner.